Lighthouse Thoughts

Birth Mother’s Day

The Chinese proverb of the red thread says that an invisible red thread connects all those destined to meet; regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle but never break. Our lives as adoptive mothers are forever entangled with our children’s birthmothers.

No matter what type of adoption you are in: international or domestic, a birthmother made a difficult choice that has given you a child to love forever. Regardless of their situations, without the courageous decisions of birth mothers around the world, many of us would not be mothers or mothers to be.

May 7, 2011, the day before Mother’s Day is a day designated as Birth Mother’s Day. While many birthparents are comfortable with their adoption plan, I am pretty sure that no one who actually placed their child for adoption is celebrating this as a holiday. Instead this weekend may be a painful reminder of the choices that she has made. Mother’s Day weekend is hard for many women, whether they are birthparents, having fertility issues, in the process of an adoption, or lost a child, sibling, or a parent.

This Mother’s Day, while celebrating your own motherhood, take a moment to show your child’s birth mother that you remember her: respect her decisions, light a candle, say a prayer, send her a note, and if your children are old enough to participate include them in the process as well.

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