Lighthouse Thoughts

Ghost of Adoption

Many members of the adoption triad are haunted by ghost.  For some it’s the starts on the path of infertility, for others it’s unsuccessful IFV or miscarriages. The death of a child or death of a dream can be eerily similar in the processing of grief and loss. Adoptive parents may be haunted by a failed adoption, a difficult adoption process, or a match they declined.  Birthparents may be haunted by the memory of the child they placed for adoption while the adopted child may possess a natural (not unnatural) desire to find out about his birthfamily. 
Other frequent haunts are the “why me’s”, the “why not me’s”, “how could this happen to me”, and the “poor me’s”.  It doesn’t take a medium to divine that many of these issues can be ongoing. Our ghost shapeshift over time, and while we continue to grow, our level of understanding expands; until we become our own Ghostbusters, storing them in our own Ecto Containment Unit. 

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