Lighthouse Thoughts

When your child does talk about his birth family, it is important to answer questions honestly and gently, as is age appropriate. Empathize and validate his feelings. Don’t be judgmental or invalidate feelings. Don’t lay blame or take anything he has personally. For a child who may be struggling with grief and loss or identity, […]

The Silent Tragedy Affecting Today’s Children BY VICTORIA PROODAY, OCCUPATIONAL THERAPIST “What is wrong? Today’s children are being deprived of the fundamentals of a healthy childhood, such as: ·         Emotionally available parents ·         Clearly defined limits and guidance ·         Responsibilities ·         Balanced nutrition and adequate sleep ·         Movement and outdoors ·         Creative play, social interaction, opportunities […]

The Center for Adoption Support and Education W.I.S.E. UP! program teaches techniques for helping kids that they have 4 choices when faced with difficult adoption questions: W: Walk away or choose not to pay attention I:    It’s private: I can choose not to share information S:   Share some information about adoption or my story E: […]

With my husband and I both brunettes, I frequently was asked where my kids got their blonde hair from. My answers varied from “most of the women on my mom’s side of the family were blonde” to “my brothers hair was just like that when he was little” and to the crabby answer of “just […]

Here’s our list of favorite adoption books! Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today’s Parents, by Deborah D. Gray Beneath the Mask: Understanding Adopted Teens, by Debbie Riley(Author), John Meeks (Contributor) The Connected Child: Bring hope and healing to your adoptive family , by Karyn B. Purvis, David R. Cross, and Wendy Lyons Sunshine Inside Transracial Adoption: Strength-based, Culture-sensitizing Parenting Strategies for Inter-country […]

There are many reasons why families don’t pursue an adoption. The ones we hear most often are that “we can’t afford to adopt” or that you “have to be rich to adopt.” You don’t have to be rich to adopt, nor do you have to have copious amounts of money in savings. All that is […]

Poet Jane Murphy says that “An Adopted Father…is many things.”   He “drives a truck, works on Wall Street, or supervises a factory. “He is black, white, or yellow and has an Italian, Greek, Irish, or Polish name.” “He is often forgotten, overlooked, never written about, or seldom praised, and yet…without him, where would our children […]

Each child’s experience with semi-open adoption will vary.  These variables include the degree of openness, the ability to maintain communication, and the willingness of the adult parties to honor their commitments, to name a few. Advantages that a semi-open adoption may provide to an adopted child may include: Communication with birth families No birth parent/family […]