Lighthouse Thoughts

Ten easy steps to building your family through adoption.   Research Adoption Programs Choose an agency  Submit the application Execute the Contract Gather required documents Complete your home study  Create a Portfolio or Dossier Complete your Pre-adoption education Wait to be matched Bring Your Baby Home 

   Two Moms are walking into IEP meetings.  One resents the fact that she has to go to an IEP for her child. She had to take time off from work, the meetings are always the same, nothing really helps and she is angry and frustrated. This is not what she bargained for.  The other […]

Chances are, that even if you didn’t plan a Spring Break getaway, you are planing a summer vacation. Vacations are supposed to be fun, but traveling with a young child can also present many challenges. One of those is boredom or I should say boredom initiated, irritability: are we there yet, she’s touching me, he’s […]

From time to time, I hear people ask whether it is appropriate to throw a shower for an adopted child. That answer is a resounding YES! It is a perfectly acceptable practice to throw a shower for an adopted child. While pregnancy is an exciting time for a mother-to-be, it is equally exciting or perhaps […]

     Adoptive Parenting is different than parenting birth children. Most people who have not adopted don’t recognize the differences.  Fundamental differences include a child’s chronological age, his developmental age and the age of the family (how long the family has been together) nature versus nurture, and expectations versus realities.  Parenting adopted children, especially those with […]

     Remember you are your child’s best advocate. No one knows your child like you do. If your child is struggling, academically, behaviorally, or socially, follow your instincts and seek help as needed. It may be necessary to seek out professionals who have some experience with adopted children.   Resources may include: Pediatrician Developmental […]

A number of parents feel a degree of post adoption blues and some will develop post-adoption depression (PAD). The symptoms are the same as those for most forms of depression. They may include fatigue, irritability, loss of appetite, sadness, and a general sense of being overwhelmed. Finalizing an adoption is an emotional climax and the stress may be […]

     Be Predictable. Your child needs to know that when he needs you, you’ll be there. Promptly respond to his cries, yells, or calls.  This is the fundamental basis of attachment.   Create a Routine Create rituals and routines. Routines are reassuring and help a child built increases confidence. Don’t rush to change feeding or […]

   In order to form healthy attachments, you must first establish the primary caretaker.  Your child needs to be able to identify you and your spouse in this role.  For the first month or two, you need to be the one who provides, food, comfort, soothing, affection, etc.  During this time, nest with your new […]

   Playing with your child naturally builds the parent child attachment. Interact with your baby by smiling and mimicking his coos. Play peek-a-boo, act silly.  When you get a positive reaction from your baby, she’s letting you know that your nurturing techniques were successful. If your child is unresponsive, respond as if he has reacted […]